malady

two full days away from a ten-page deadline. with only two paragraphs to speak for productivity, cut and pasted from a month-old assignment. optimism.

finished House seasons 1, 2 and 3; half a dozen dvd’s, 2 of them those 8 in 1’s (to be economical). at 3am this morning finished Prison Break season 2. very very good.

still without cable. running out of dvds one tries reading. haven’t finished a book in a while now. there’s three on the bed, rereading, pick a chapter, reread, never finishing. at last, started and finished to the end Tolkien’s short stories (Farmer Giles of Ham and Smith of Woottton Major, Smith being the better one). Revisited The Left Hand of Darkness too by Ursula le Guin; the right hand is, of course, light. this knowledge saves. optimistic. 

 ’shouldn’t wait for roosters to tell me to sleep.

the past days (that stretched into weeks) have been spent in almost catatonia, broken only by spurts of half hazard activities. pretensions at being part of the great world order, lest one be found out. some days are good, others ok, still others just days. really can’t complain, doing what you want and there is nothing else (nothing better) you’d want to do (coordinate life from the couch via remote — ah, what’s that defensive lilt on the voice?)

(dryly: of great import to the workings of the world. the minute details mundane grasping. one is ever so lucky indulging in ambivalence).

or maybe do one more ride on the boat that sails into an almost brown sunset with an origami bird made of grass.

to fill one’s days with productivity.

alas, to quote from the boys of Fox River: optimism is for those who have not yet found grace.

 

 

mood: vacant

music: revolution. grandaddy

~ by amats on October 19, 2007.